Toward a More Dashing Style

Sentence Rhythm and Flow

Granny Kat has noticed that beginning writers often miss out on a crucial aspect of good writing: the rhythm and flow of words and sentences. When it's done well it's like good music. The best way to improve the flow of your words is to read you work aloud. Granny Kat spends a lot of time reading her work aloud and it is well worth the time, plus you may be able to entertain some family and friends while you're at it! 

Read this paragraph aloud:

The morning sunlight glowed through the fog. It was hazy and Patrick could not see past the barn. He listened to the birds singing in the trees. Their loud calls meant spring had arrived. A few of the cows shuffled along the edge of the fence. They plodded through the dewy grass.

Can you sense the sameness? The monotony of simple declarative sentences can sap the life out of your writing. Use some sentence variety to liven things up.

Morning sunlight glowed through the fog. Past the barn Patrick couldn't see through the haze. Listening to the loud calls of birds in the trees, he sensed spring had arrived. A few of the cows shuffled along the edge of the fence, plodding through the dewy grass.

Once you start using sentence variety you can begin to feel around for the rhythm that feels right for you. Pay attention to the rhythm that seems to suit you. It is part of your style. Beware of falling into a pattern of using only one type of sentence, even if it is different from a plain declarative.

Take a look at these three paragraphs:

1. As soon as Jake got home he started arguing with her. Before she could explain what had happened, he smacked twenty dollars onto the table. After he stormed out the door, she was furious with herself for not standing up to him.

2. Jake started arguing with her as soon as he got home. He smacked twenty dollars onto the table before she could explain what had happened. She was furious with herself for not standing up to him after he stormed out the door.

3. Jake got home and started arguing with her. She started to explain what had happened, but he smacked twenty dollars onto the table. He stormed out the door, and she was furious with herself for not standing up to him.

Each paragraph uses a different set of sentence patterns, but every sentence in the paragraph repeats the same pattern without varying. Watch out for this when you revise your writing. Granny Kat does not like to be bored, oh no. You want a variety of sentences in each paragraph to keep your reader interested. Even mild levels of monotony will put readers to sleep.

Combining sentences

Another hint from Granny Kat is to place important words at the beginnings or endings of sentences for emphasis. Let's take another look at this sentence:

The little handbag with chain link handles and a silver buckle on the flap sat atop her desk. 

As you read this, what sticks in your mind is probably "handbag" and "desk". The details in the middle get a bit lost. Sadly, those seem to be the more substantial parts of the sentence. Let's take this sentence apart and put it back together to see what we can do with its rhythm.

The little handbag sat atop her desk.

It had chain link handles.

It had a silver buckle on the flap.

Those are the basic details. Let's try a variety of ways to combine these three basic sentences.

Atop her desk sat a little handbag with chain link handles and a silver buckle on the flap.

The little handbag with its chain link handles and silver flap buckle sat atop her desk.

With its silver flap buckle and chain link handles the little handbag sat atop her desk.

There are other ways to combine these simple sentences, but let's take it up a notch further and see how some of these sentences can be used to create expectation, emphasize intensity, or conclude with a flourish.

Examples that create micro-tension:

Expectation:

The silver flap buckle and chain link handles of the little handbag...   (What? What about them?)

Emphasize intensity:

Chain link handles and a silver buckle on the flap of the little handbag...  (Drawing out the conclusion further, makes the reader anticipate the end part of the sentence.)

Conclude with a flourish:

With its silver flap buckle and chain link handles the little handbag shouted fashionista. (Put a unique word or joke at the end of the sentence.)

Sentences that state a point, and then elaborate:

The little handbag shouted fashionista with its silver flap buckle and chain link handles.

Sentences used to emphasize similarities or differences:

The handbag might have been little, but it shouted fashionista with its silver flap buckle and chain link handles.

Now go forth and make variety, people! -Granny Kat

To celebrate the release of Book 2 in Granny Kat's writing series, Book 1 will be FREE from April 5th through April 7th! You can find both of these on Amazon:
How to Handle Details
How to Handle Grammar